Equinox Reflections on the FullMoon Eclipse

This right below, it really gets me.

    Go ahead, breathe a deep sign, a long letting go of waiting for Life to sing in colors again, Aaaah . . . letting out our waiting for the danger point to pass. Now we know we’re going to make it! On this day Earth is in balance between dark and light. With luck, the way forward has roots tough enough to make it through to leaf and bloom and fruit this year.

   What if . . . ? Do you have the will for spring if ice and snow won’t let up, if climate extremes bring your tower of expectations tumbling down? We are all challenged now to find balance between dark and light, to find a way for Life to win no matter what.

   Rebirth magic: Take an egg, dye it red, deepen the color with your womb blood (or energy of your wise crone blood). Go out on the land; ask nature spirit to take your sweet sacrifice and turn it into a medicine blissing for all lands, all peoples everywhere. Bury the egg as a seed of Hope.

~Miriam Dyak, We’Moon

"Do you have the will for spring if ice & snow won't let up, if climate extremes bring your tower of expectations tumbling down?

I've been feeling a lot like a fair weathered pilot these days. Where I've had unyielding faith & surety if in nothing else, myself, I've found fear creeping in. It has me testing my resolve. Am I able to power through & push forward? Is this what I should be doing? Is it a rough patch, a test perhaps? Or is the universe giving me hints that maybe this isn't where I'm meant to be/what I should be doing/who I should strive to be? 

Combined with a winter that will not let up it sometimes feels like spring may never come.

*this image is not mine

*this image is not mine

Then we get that one sunny day.

Suddenly there seem to be more birds & as the sun hits your face, forcing your eyes to a squint, you think....maybe. Truly though, how do we know when to forge ahead & when to let it pass? To brush it off & cut your losses or find creative solutions to drab inequities? 

Go back to the beginning.

When all else seems to have betrayed you & you're unable to believe in what's in front of you, go back to your gut. You're given all the information you need in the first 30 seconds. That feeling in your pit is your intuition speaking to you. It's whispering everything you need in order to move forward intelligently. It's subtle though & you have to be willing to listen to its wisdom. That first 30 seconds is your intuition speaking & it is never wrong. Everything that comes after is a strange combination of wishful thinking &/or fear. Delusions either way. It's the after that I urge you not to give too much credit to . Your deepest, most sincere truths will never let you down. 

That first 30 second whisper in your gut is your soul talking & it's the most genuine voice in the world.

It will never let you down. An example not related to my current dilemma: I met a man (surprise surprise but this is the most relatable example). He seemed lovely & interesting & spiritually, emotionally mature. I thought, sure why not, he's amazing but that first morning after, I heard a little voice tell me he could not be trusted. I brushed this by & instead allowed myself to be ruled by the unruly butterflies. Sure enough, a short time later, my gut proved true & there was not a piece of me that was surprised. Devastated perhaps but not surprised. I'd been warned. (Don't worry, I'm not talking about YOU....or am I?)

So the gut & the voices & fair weathered living. It can be tough being tough. Always feeling like you have to power through, keep going despite the odds, giving up, letting go. I'll say it over & over again, being human is HARD. It really is. But the gut is real. If you learn to listen to it, you will always find your way back to the light. Finding yourself on the Equinox of light & darkness, you will always find a way to persevere.

*this image is not mine

*this image is not mine

To listen though, you need the opposite of tough, you need to allow space for vulnerability & this is one of the most challenging things in the world to do. Surrendering to trust, even trust in yourself, your intuition, seems to have become a lost art. But go for it. The scales must always tip back eventually. The universe demands balance so just keep powering through, either pushing forward or letting go & eventually you'll find yourself back in fair weather. 

Trust & allow the sun & the moon to light your way as both the metaphorical & physical eclipses cast shadows over your days. Just be, allow, & you will always manage.